There are schizophrenic dual-selves in each one of us – a self which is an artist’s vision of ‘who one can be sans society’.
Perhaps, an identity that’s doesn’t try to conform, to fit in, or compromise.
There’s that secret fantastical-self for each one of us who revels in absolute freedom, interacts to the point, & is dramatically confident like a ‘super-hero’.
A writer, they say, is unfortunately caught up in countless such selves –
a secular-liberal at heart who disdains the idea of lack of ‘freedom of speech’, but is forced to choose silence; a sarcastic asshole who is hidden behind the veil of a chirpy exterior; an anxious over thinker who is super-confident & alive when alone on the road to wanderlust.
Traveling for me thus works as a breather from these countless selfves, bringing me a little closer to ‘who I was born to be’, hidden beneath perfectly conditioned layers of societal falsehoods.
Sometimes, a small life matters to the whole universe. And sometimes, even a grand existence goes unnoticed or unappreciated.
For me, a dog’s life has always been that ‘small life’ that mattered & aroused a holy curiosity. I have sought pups since I can remember.
Maybe it was one of those things that is related to a past-life connection.
My bond with a dog grows naturally. However, the ability to form such a bond with a human remains elusive.
For, there’s something about a pup that resonates deep in the chambers of my heart – an undying sense of humor, displayed through naughty-kind eyes; a sense of joyful saunter in its walk; absolute trust, so unnatural in a human being; and that protectiveness with which it guards you like a lion. 🙂
I am especially amused by the ‘first bark’ that comes out of a pup’s being – a bark which sounds funny to our ears, but, feels like a roar to the lil amused furbaby, if you notice its angry-cute expressions. 🙂
Today, I lost one of the puppies that belonged to a litter of 8 wonder-street puppies that came into our lives a few months ago. A lot of times people call it a rescue case, but, I’m the one these wonder-pups rescued with their unconditional love & unfettered freedom.
This is a ‘thank you note’ to ‘Blacksome’, a homely, handsome boy who went missing in the bushes just today, probably taken by a predator (though I hope he somehow comes back). You’re not only a ‘good boy’ who stayed home, but you’re also in fact a ‘great boy’ whose naughty antics made me laugh unconditionally.
May you be my ‘spirit animal’ in the lives to come. :)))
Rape. A word that sends shivers down the spine every time I hear it.
Not that any other form of violence is any less traumatic!
But there’s something in a woman’s system that creates an ‘angry void’ when she hears the word ‘rape’.
For a woman, the unsettling reaction to rape isn’t a reaction to the actual act of rape.
It’s a long ‘suppressed reaction’ to something that runs deeper.
It almost feels like a hollow scream from the crevices of her soul. Something that’s painfully present in her journey from being a child to a woman.
When she’s just a toddler, she’s just a young child jumping around in her pretty pink frock.
Slowly, the innocent, doe-eyed child observes that the men in her life – neighbours, cousins, friends – don’t necessarily look at her soul or consciousness or mind, when they look at her.
Rather, she’s being ‘looked at’ for the way her body is becoming.
Gradually, the girl starts to get accustomed to being stared at, leered at, touched, without her consent or interest or even understanding of why it’s all happening in the first place.
Sadly, the final act of being born as a ‘woman’ doesn’t happen when she becomes a financially independent individual in her late 20s.
It’s that fleeting moment during those ‘mmature teens’ when she finally accepts the fact that’s this is how it’s always been, and this is how it always will be – not an easy transition into the complexities of womanhood, if you ask me! 🙂
For Asifa, and many toddlers & children like her, perhaps everything got lost at the initial stage of being a young child. May Asifa and likes of her rest in peace and be re-born, if at all, as a boy!
A writer’s block. A malady understood by only .1% populace. An incurable & inexplicable phenomena that afflicts both the wanna be & the established writers equally.
So, what is it that causes the curious case of a writer’s block?
If creativity is a divine gift , is writer’s block a punishment by a not-so-happy divine hand? 😛
If creativity is 99% practice, how the hell is one supposed to practise the inability to practise something ?
Not-so-easy to answer questions!
Let’s start with the basic one.
What is a writer’s block???
The exact feeling can be figuratively compared to a bad dream where one is falling down a steep hill without any bodily control & wakes up with a sudden jerk.
The meaning of the phrase is the inability to; write a sentence, possess a linear thought process /flow of ideas, or sometimes, a condition when the ability to write even the next word is lost, for a week, a month or, in my case, a number of months now.
It feels like the heart might give away completely the moment the next word will come out of my mouth/ pen. The thing is it is too lame to be expressed, yet happens to the best of us.
“Writing about a writer’s block is better than not writing at all.” 🙂
– Charles Bukowski
I can’t fathom the depths of failure that writer’s blocks brings upon someone. It’s different for everyone. And I’m sure the easy answer is to look at it as a technical issue rather than a psychological one (a reality of over-thinking writers).
But here’s what helps me at times, & I’m sure the answer is different for each one of us.
Read a thought-provoking book
Strenuous physical activity
The art of doing nothing
Any one of the above, or when I am lucky enough, all the above mentioned activities slowly steer me away from the wretched blockage of creative energy, & allows me to relax enough to write naturally.
I guess more or less, the lack of inspiration or monotony is why writer’s block manifests. And doing that one thing that always takes you on a “joy-ride” is the key to unlock the much-dreaded blockage.
Do share your ideas on how you get past your block in the comments section. 🙂